somewhere that's

It's been awhile a while? ahwyle?

Fuck you words.

Since I've written on this thing-a-ma-shit about something nonfictional.

And to be honest, the reason why, is none of your goddamn business.

But thank you for visiting and reading and telling all your one friend that doesn't own a computer and doesn't understand what an ehnturnitz is and could care less about anything besides sucking the marrow dry of a couple of deer bones.

I totez understand why someone raised by wolves would want to read (if they could/or knew what "read" was) this lil blog because they would need something that is close to english but also close enough howls and yelps to understand.

It's like hooked on phonics! but for wolf people!

Oh I'm sorry, sorry, Lupine Americans! I almost wrote Lupus Americans (heh lupus)

No lie: I was Hooked on Phonics™ when I was but a wee lil boy growing up in OHIO.

Or I think they [my parents] bought it for me? I remember looking at the box and thinking,

"Pffff I don't need to read or listen to tapes learn English"

And that friends is how I started my life long love affair with English!

My life long love of trying to murder the English Language™.

J/K lulz

But fo rulsies what's the big deal w/grammar? As long as you can make yourself understood and maybe make it amusing or something, in the end you can take grammar and spit in it's nerdy eyes.

Pssh grammar probably wears glasses! So you'd have to take off the glasses THEN spit in grammars eyes.

What a Nerd!

Grammar probably couldn't get a date to the prom (but neither could I sooooooo :/).

Grammar probably wasn't invited to any quewl kydz parties (oh, oh right neither was I).

Grammar probably just spent countless Friday nights hanging out with his mom eating Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby BY THE PINT and watching 20/20 and wonder just how John Stossel kept his mustache so neat.

Talking to his mom about what they wanted to do on Saturday, go to the mall maybe? grocery shop? And no Grammar didn't have any plans and didn't want to hang with his friends.

You know, something like that.

What was the point?

Oh yeah

wolf people are cool

I'll have time for you both

Kay and Jay enter the room SR. The room is empty except for a single chair with Him. There is a door SL wich leads into the bathroom.

Jay - ...O.K. O.K. cool, let's get started.

Kay - That's all?

Jay - What?

Kay - Look

Beat

Beat

Jay - she really did a number on him.

Beat

Him - It's not a big deal.

I don't know why, what anyone was worried about.

It's nothing.

Nothing but silence and emptiness.

But the maggots in eyes.

That did feel weird.

Well it didn't feel like anything,

I just knew that it should feel like something.

I'm not mad at what happened.

I don't think I Deserve it.

I don't think it's Fair.

But I'm not Mad.

I just.

I just didn't know what I was doing.

I didn't think.

I guess that's what stuck with me.

I didn't think.

That's what she kept saying.

Over.

Over.

Over.

Think.

Think.

Just think, I just couldn't.

So, If I could've stopped it.

I guess I would've because then I would be thinking.

Thinking about what?

Thinking about something

about somewhere

...

...

about about about about

...

something.

Instead, just here.

Maggots in my eyes.

Things eating away

Falling away

Fuck. just look at me.

Kay - Cool, let's start.

Jay - Wait, how come you can say that?

Kay - Because, I have taken the time to appreciate what Elle has done, and am now ready to continue with the job. You, on the other hand, wished to excuse...this... without fully understanding and appreciating what you are seeing.

Jay - I appreciate it. I guess, I appreciate it...just not, like you, I guess.

Kay - Don't you realize what this means. What we're looking at?

Beat

Kay - It means, that Elle is more respectable than I thought.

I got done

Not a new scene, just continuation of previous.

Kay - Great

Jay - Great

Elle - So how do we go about it?

Kay - Can't expect us to tell you everything

Jay - It's pretty boring really.

Elle - Not everything, something, not everything.

Kay - If you give a moose a muffin...

Elle - Excuse me?

Jay - It's not we, it's us.

Elle - What?

Kay - You said "we" there is no "we."

Jay - Just us and please, it's really nothing, routine.

Kay - And it's best if you not know.

Elle - Best? I'm the one that...I think it's best if I know.

Kay - Why? So you can do what? So you can help? I wouldn't think you'd want to do that.

Jay - Plus if we told you we'd have to kill you.

Beat

Beat

Kay - Alright, you were going to tell use where to go.

Elle - Yes.

He's

Umm He's upstairs.

Kay - Thank you

Jay - Really, it is best that we don't go into specifics.

Beat

Jay - These stairs

Elle - Yes.

Jay and Kay exit. Elle is left alone. A single spot light, looking up the stairs. Starts to smile. Wide.

no title

look isn't it crazy!?

i've been posting?


regularly?

SUCK IT MY USUAL MODE OF OPERATION


suck it long hard and deep (<---- i'm so so sorry for that)


seriously, sorry.

terra mojada

Through the next scene Jay, Kay and Elle are all sitting at the table that they were sitting at in the previous scene. Jay and Kays backs no longer to the audience. They sit on either side (stage L and stage R). Elle is UP Stage Center.

Elle - I'm sorry, you just looked so uncomfortable.

Kay - Did we?

Jay - I'm sure we did.

Kay - We're not.

Elle - You're not.

Jay - I'm sure we just seemed uncomfortable.

Kay - We tend to seem uncomfortable.

Beat

Beat

Jay - The tea's good.

Elle - I'm sorry, tend to seem uncomfortable?

Kay - Yes.

Jay - Not too hot. There was plenty of time to let it cool.
I'm sure that you must have the leaves, bags?
I'm sure I taste actual leaves (but I'm no expert), in first and then added the boiling water.

Beat

Was there some lemon already in the tea? It isn't lemon tea though, it barely needs any honey or sugar.

Beat

I like honey better, the sugar tends to collect too much at the bottom of the cup;

Beat

it's like drinking a sweet sediment from the base of a river.

Kay - I never really got the hang of drinking tea.

Elle - The hang of drinking tea?

Kay - Yes.

Elle - Well I'm glad one of you is enjoying the tea.

Kay - I didn't say I didn't enjoy it.

Elle - Well at least this was only the beginning.

Jay - More tea?

Elle - No.

Kay - Great. We'll we're ready/

Elle - Yes, I can see that.

Kay - Yes. You told us.

Jay - I'm just glad we got here on time.

Elle - Why?

Jay - Well you see/

Kay - No reason.

Elle - What makes you think you came here on time?

Jay - You said we were early.

Elle - Unless they have changed the definition of On Time

On Time does not mean early.

Early means before the expected time.

I expected you at a certain time and you most surely came before the expected time.

Kay - Would you like we should go?

Leave.

Take all our preparations and come back tomorrow.

The day after.

Beat

We've proved we can find you.

And it took even less than the time we gave ourselves.

Jay - It wasn't hard. I knew we would get here on time.

I just get so nervous about time and being on time,

not making anyone wait.

Beat

Waiting can be the worst part.

Elle - I'm sure.

Jay - I don't know about you but the waiting,
the waiting...is the worst.
Because it's so much more than just waiting; it's expecting.
Expectations not met
and it comes in waves, non-stop, swelling and growing.
I mean there I am waiting, expecting and that's when it starts:
Why aren't they here?
What time is it?
Did I give them the right address?
Did I give them the right directions?
Did they ask for directions?
What time is it?
What time did I say to be here?
Is it the right day? (of course it's the right day)
Is it time?
What time is it?

Beat

What time is it?

Beat

Kay, what time is it?

Kay - It should be about time.

Elle - Uh, yes yes. Now should be the right time.

Kay - So...

Elle - Yes. I'm sorry. I'll be back in a moment.

Elle Exits

Kay - What a bitch.

Jay - God, are you for real right now?

Kay - What? She's a bitch.

Jay - Yes, but don't say that out loud.

Kay - Whatever. It doesn't matter.

Jay - She's already making this harder than it should be. And that shitty attitude you have isn't helping.

Kay - It's not like she wouldn't be such a twat if I was acting like care bear.

Jay - Well I guess well never find out because that odds of that happening are pretty low now aren't they.

Kay - Yes. Yes they are.

Elle Enters

Elle - O.K. I think we can start.

come and find me

Elle-
Good you made it! Good, great.
This is great.
This...this, well I can't begin to tell you how important this is going to...how necessary, but that can wait.
I'm just glad you made it.
Early!
It's brutal out there, the elements and...everything. But, yes good you came!
Prepared. I see that; yes very much prepared.
I was always taught it was crucial to be prepared.
For anything. Well at least somethings.
In a perfect world I was supposed to be prepared for everything.
But who can do that? Do you know how much everything is?
It's a lot. By definition it is a lot.
No, yes, at my best I was prepared for somethings.
At my worst, I was prepared for the minimal catastrophe, the minimal disturbance, the minimal problems, the scrapes, bruises but not the uncontrollable, not the torrents that would come raining down.
But yes! You two. Very much in the opposite camp as myself.
Tea? Coffee? Sit.
While still, early.
You really should have some tea or coffee.
It's brutal out there.
Yes tea or coffee would be best.
and sit.
Sit.
Preparation. Yes.
I remember my mother would teach me the art of preparation.
Trust me it is an art.
But look at me preaching to the choir as they say.
An art, meticulous. Constant training and relearning.
But with an intuition of course. Sparks.
Revelations.
In all things.
Let me get you more.
It's something that you can't forget, no, forgetting is the worse kind of sacrilege.
I still remember being wrapped up; tight to the point of suffocation. Thick itch wool biting at my neck. Trading one redness and pain for another.
Arms restrained, bound severe and perpendicular to my body.
But it was good, it worth it.
Like all things that are difficult. worth it.
In the end.
Resilience, strength.
But I'm sure you two know all about that.
You made it here for christsake.
Sugar? milk
Is it too hot?
Not for the weak willed.
Drink up.

el aire que respira

Jay - We're headed the right way...? Right?

Kay - ...Yes...probably...definitely.

Jay - What makes you say probably?

Kay - We're fine.

Jay - You just/

Kay - /I know what you're gonna say "You sounded so hesitant" "you waited to long to respond"

Jay - Yes and Yes

Kay - I said I would get us there and that's what I'm doing.

Jay - With your incredible sense of direction

Kay - I don't see you helping.

Jay - Constructive criticism/

Kay - /Is not a real form of helping. Plus! it's not what you're doing.

Jay - Don't tell me what I'm doing.

Kay - I'm telling you what you're NOT doing. Difference.

Jay - Ha! Semantics!

Kay - God! What are you doing to help?

Jay - ...Conversation?

Kay - Argument is not conversation.

Jay - Yeah sure it's not

Kay - What would stop me from leaving you here? You don't know where we are...

Jay - Shut up neither do you...that's why we stopped/

Kay - ONLY a vague idea where we're going/

Jay - Please! You don't know any better than I do

beat

Jay - Are we headed the right way?

Kay - Oh, I'll get us there. Even I have to murder and drag your body 100 miles/

Jay - Seriously that far?/

Kay - JUST so you'll stop asking if we're headed the right way.

Jay - You wouldn't be able to carry this much weight.

Kay - What're you; a buck 70? 80?

Jay - Thanks Paul Bunyun. There's a difference between dead weight and non-dead weight

Kay - Undead weight.

Jay - Night of the living, day of the. dawn of the, all movies about heavy think moving bodies

barreling towards you with no escape in sight.

Kay - Their arms, legs, their whatevers would break so easily.

Jay - Rot, decay. Time.

Kay - Solution. I'll wait a few days; brush away the maggots, worm etc. and then we'll see who's

carrying who.

Jay - Whom

Kay - ....fine....

Jay - So you're saying that it would take a few days?

Kay - Yeah, you know, to make sure enough is eaten away.

Jay - Or to get there, I mean if it's going to take a few days,

I mean if you have the time, I mean need the time to wait...

Kay - The soft tissue would go first. I guess the eyes, the fat

Jay - Because you said you knew how to get there.

Kay - And enough would fall away from the tougher, resilient, annoying stuff

Jay - And we've been walking for a while

Kay - Then just give a good ole heave

Jay - So you/

Kay - Jesus. We're here.