I haven't been writing any of my recaps
because i suck and because no one will read them. and it's the whole tree falling in the wood things
if a tree falls in the woods it'll still kill and/or paralyze you if it falls on you.
I find this creepy/wonderful. plz marry me, I'll just act dumb most of the time but that's alright right?
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Speaking of single queens
Once again I have found myself in q-q-q-queenz.
I really don't do anything while i'm in queens but eat n drank.
two of my most favorite things in the world
OBVI
Oh and i also get to hang out with my sister and brother-in-law. which is pretty cool too i guess.
Tomorrow is the girl talk concert. the waterfront is going to be packed.
i just want to dance a lil is that so wrong?
yes it is. dancing is for sinners.
I really don't do anything while i'm in queens but eat n drank.
two of my most favorite things in the world
OBVI
Oh and i also get to hang out with my sister and brother-in-law. which is pretty cool too i guess.
Tomorrow is the girl talk concert. the waterfront is going to be packed.
i just want to dance a lil is that so wrong?
yes it is. dancing is for sinners.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Fie on't Fie
So this is about the same time and situation I was in whilst in chikago.
jobless
hopeless
___less
Somethings has to happen correct?
right?
right?
jobless
hopeless
___less
Somethings has to happen correct?
right?
right?
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
It's a candle with blood in it; it smells like soup
Well here we are again. In the woods of Bon Temp with a crazay sex partay.
Seriously?
Lord knows I lurv me a good orgy (what?) but after weeks n weeks of sexin' it up, a lil' break is necessary, no? Luckily, for us we also have murrrrrder! Or ritual sacrifice (which ever you prefer). Poor Sam, after finally having some freaky fun with your Doe eyed grrl, all she wants to do is lead you to the slaughter at the hands/claws of Maryann, her local Menaed priestess/devil's handmaiden thing or whatever, she has a bull head, that's actually a mask, does her head get transfigured into a bulls head?? I don't get it.
Luckily Sam remembered that"oh i have super powers" and flew on outa there. While everyone started screamin' their heads off, all black eyed and sexed up.
Sookie and Hugo are trapped in a church.
Sookie and Hugo and Godric are trapped in a church.
At least Sookie called out for Godric at least to see if he could hear her, which he most likely did since you know he has super human hearing, (I guess it's not super human since he's a vampire, so it would just be regular...vampire hearing...)
Well well well, and now we find out that Hugo is actually, a spy, look out secret squirrel, True Blood has a basically non-descript white guy to one up you! He does drop a few truth bombs on Sookie explainin; how the human-vampire relash, is a power play that has set dominant and sumbissive players that cannot be changed or challanged due to the fact that, they are immortal and humans....are not....
Sucks to your ass-mar Sookie says: "Bill loves me and I love him end of story, lalala I can't heaaaaar you," and with a telepathic super blast calls poor Barry Bellhop to get Bill to save her.
Because Sookie always needs saving.
Bill n' Lorena are hangin' out in the Hotel and having flashback to the good ole days. At first I thought the Lorena's acting was horrible, but now it's just bad like sad bad. Like in the flashback she was clapping like it was an imitation of what humans are supposed to do with the sacks of fles n bone that hang from their soldier blades. UNlike the last flashback where we see B n' L having sex n blood and on top of a dying girl in this lil flash we see Bill as we've always known him kinda boring. What upsets me most I think, is that we don't see the middle step of how Bill got to be a wet blanket, he just is and was sick of blood play and oh never loved Lorena. Well Lorena's pissed and isn't get let him go.
Oh and vampires bleed if they don't get sleep. Gross! Awesome!
Speaking of gross/awesome, Jason really does the perfect, what the hell did i just do, look on his face after he had sex with Sarah Newlin. What did you just do? You banged the Pastor's Wife, that's what. And now she's in rubba-dub love with you and will tell her husband and everything will be great!
That is until Hugo reveals Sookie last name and Steve Newlin finds out that Jason is Sookie's bro and send Sargent scary to take out Jason. So that's not so great. And once Jason fights of Sarge, because Jason is awesome, Sarge goes to rape Sookie.
Did I mention that Mr. Newlin told Mrs. Newlin and Mrs. Newlin goes all crazy scorned and shoots Jason in the chest. Yeah, that happens too. (The gun was obvi either a dart gun or a taser, we're not dumbies Alan Ball.)
Back in Bon Temp. Poor Andy tries to tell the people that they are all turning into black-eyed sex zombies. And they're all like STFU drunk. (I secretly wish that they all retain the memoriez and are just playin' dumb to get away with the sex parties without being "those" people that go to sex parties, but you are, you are those people citizens of Bon Temp). I can't wait till Andy comes out triumphant, or horribly slaughtered on his way to expose the truth.
Sam, like Mrs. Newlin, gets all lover scorned and takes out his gun, it's deer season. Here is were we finally get an explanation for Maryann. She controls people through sex, violence and excess (duh) and sacrifices people to the Devil or Dionysus, which might be the same in this universe. Sams all "well shit" and that's basically it for him this episode.
Daphne on the other hand keeps swimming and then later on at night, she's still swimmin' and get's murder/stabbed by zombie Eggs will Maryann smiles benignly. And Daphne sorta smiles? or is that just the blood gurgling up through her mouth, you know I can never tell!
Meanwhile Isabelle, Eric and Cowboy hat vampire discuss whether it's an inside job that got Godric kidnapped in order to start a Vampire v. Human war in Dalles. Probably! Then Barry Bellhop shows up to tell Bill the telepath news, and of course he's snagged up by a Vampire. Durh.
At the end of the episode, we have Sookie being saved by Godric who is looking......not as good as he was looking in Eric's flashback......which is disappointing.
I want to end this recap with a NON-disappointing note:
squeeeeeeeeeeeee
Hoyt and Jessica are going to lose their V-Card (heh) to each other. Sure Hoyt is 28 and Jessica is dead, but it's the most real(realistic) relationship in this program. He put on "Bleeding Love" for chris'sake.
Images via:
io9
The Vault-True Blood Online
Seriously?
Lord knows I lurv me a good orgy (what?) but after weeks n weeks of sexin' it up, a lil' break is necessary, no? Luckily, for us we also have murrrrrder! Or ritual sacrifice (which ever you prefer). Poor Sam, after finally having some freaky fun with your Doe eyed grrl, all she wants to do is lead you to the slaughter at the hands/claws of Maryann, her local Menaed priestess/devil's handmaiden thing or whatever, she has a bull head, that's actually a mask, does her head get transfigured into a bulls head?? I don't get it.
Luckily Sam remembered that"oh i have super powers" and flew on outa there. While everyone started screamin' their heads off, all black eyed and sexed up.
Sookie and Hugo are trapped in a church.
Sookie and Hugo and Godric are trapped in a church.
At least Sookie called out for Godric at least to see if he could hear her, which he most likely did since you know he has super human hearing, (I guess it's not super human since he's a vampire, so it would just be regular...vampire hearing...)
Well well well, and now we find out that Hugo is actually, a spy, look out secret squirrel, True Blood has a basically non-descript white guy to one up you! He does drop a few truth bombs on Sookie explainin; how the human-vampire relash, is a power play that has set dominant and sumbissive players that cannot be changed or challanged due to the fact that, they are immortal and humans....are not....
Sucks to your ass-mar Sookie says: "Bill loves me and I love him end of story, lalala I can't heaaaaar you," and with a telepathic super blast calls poor Barry Bellhop to get Bill to save her.
Because Sookie always needs saving.
Bill n' Lorena are hangin' out in the Hotel and having flashback to the good ole days. At first I thought the Lorena's acting was horrible, but now it's just bad like sad bad. Like in the flashback she was clapping like it was an imitation of what humans are supposed to do with the sacks of fles n bone that hang from their soldier blades. UNlike the last flashback where we see B n' L having sex n blood and on top of a dying girl in this lil flash we see Bill as we've always known him kinda boring. What upsets me most I think, is that we don't see the middle step of how Bill got to be a wet blanket, he just is and was sick of blood play and oh never loved Lorena. Well Lorena's pissed and isn't get let him go.
Oh and vampires bleed if they don't get sleep. Gross! Awesome!
Speaking of gross/awesome, Jason really does the perfect, what the hell did i just do, look on his face after he had sex with Sarah Newlin. What did you just do? You banged the Pastor's Wife, that's what. And now she's in rubba-dub love with you and will tell her husband and everything will be great!
That is until Hugo reveals Sookie last name and Steve Newlin finds out that Jason is Sookie's bro and send Sargent scary to take out Jason. So that's not so great. And once Jason fights of Sarge, because Jason is awesome, Sarge goes to rape Sookie.
Did I mention that Mr. Newlin told Mrs. Newlin and Mrs. Newlin goes all crazy scorned and shoots Jason in the chest. Yeah, that happens too. (The gun was obvi either a dart gun or a taser, we're not dumbies Alan Ball.)
Back in Bon Temp. Poor Andy tries to tell the people that they are all turning into black-eyed sex zombies. And they're all like STFU drunk. (I secretly wish that they all retain the memoriez and are just playin' dumb to get away with the sex parties without being "those" people that go to sex parties, but you are, you are those people citizens of Bon Temp). I can't wait till Andy comes out triumphant, or horribly slaughtered on his way to expose the truth.
Sam, like Mrs. Newlin, gets all lover scorned and takes out his gun, it's deer season. Here is were we finally get an explanation for Maryann. She controls people through sex, violence and excess (duh) and sacrifices people to the Devil or Dionysus, which might be the same in this universe. Sams all "well shit" and that's basically it for him this episode.
Daphne on the other hand keeps swimming and then later on at night, she's still swimmin' and get's murder/stabbed by zombie Eggs will Maryann smiles benignly. And Daphne sorta smiles? or is that just the blood gurgling up through her mouth, you know I can never tell!
Meanwhile Isabelle, Eric and Cowboy hat vampire discuss whether it's an inside job that got Godric kidnapped in order to start a Vampire v. Human war in Dalles. Probably! Then Barry Bellhop shows up to tell Bill the telepath news, and of course he's snagged up by a Vampire. Durh.
At the end of the episode, we have Sookie being saved by Godric who is looking......not as good as he was looking in Eric's flashback......which is disappointing.
I want to end this recap with a NON-disappointing note:
squeeeeeeeeeeeee
Hoyt and Jessica are going to lose their V-Card (heh) to each other. Sure Hoyt is 28 and Jessica is dead, but it's the most real(realistic) relationship in this program. He put on "Bleeding Love" for chris'sake.
Images via:
io9
The Vault-True Blood Online
Saturday, July 18, 2009
mira hombre
non recap post because i'm lazay
It's summer and i just realized it, I guess?
Evz, KreativeKrisis et moi are totez hostin' a bbq.
LAST WEEKEND.
Sadly, our bbq'z got canceled because er'body was too into bbqin' and are not lazy lazy people like us and probably got up early, like 9,(how is 9 considered early? when you don't have to sleep off a hangover/are just to sleepy! it is, what a sad sad state we live in as young people). So we improved which is also what young people do! so we had a lil cookin' at our place but we hung out on our roof. so while we didn't technically BBQ we did have fun cooking, hosting, and more importantly drinking in the middle of the day in a socially acceptable environment.
After we had a sojourn to the waterfront and watched the Dirty Projectors. The waterfront was PACKED so we decided to be lazy (THEME), and just sit in the grass and listened to them.
They
Were
Awesome.
There's something nice about cooking out and watching a live show outside, it's tempting to wax all poetical about it. It just reminds me of my childhoods filled with park picnics and music playing loudly from the boombox. Even though that maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe happened like 6 times from the time i was born till now. And even then I'm probably just creating false memoriez from various televsion and movie picnic.
culture robot!
So that was last weekend.
THIS WEEKEND
lolc*nt, DS7 and I all hung out. We basically had dinner. They had burgerzzzz
I had a milkshake!
Needless to say it didn't bring any boiz to my yard. I don't even have a yard!
then we had some drizzies and had nice long chat at a bar. It was fun bar talk that took a turn for the sentimental, as many bar talks will turn into (I lurv u gu'zzzzzz ya the bes') but thank G, it went back to funny/snarky/snide, so it was a'ight.
The next day DS7, lolc*nt and I HAD ANOTHER BBQ
SQUEEEEEEEE
This time we used lolc*nt's momma's hizzy. we also had pie!
and on the seventh day warbles n' I went to the waterfront once again.
We say the Black Lips, but were jipped outa Trail of Dead Concert. Thanks a lot God! Right as they were done setting up there was lightening. See even God doesn't like hipsters
NO ONE DOES.
The Black Lips portion was fun. Near the end kids started to get stupid. Which is my favorite part of the show. lot's of stage diving and dancing. The lead singer did something like stage walking? He had peeps in the audy, hold his legs up and standing and playing the guitarrrrrr.
good for him.
And then the lightening came, and on the walk back to warbles apty, we got rained on. hard.
and now, now I'm filled with the crushin crushin monotony of the week.
great.
It's summer and i just realized it, I guess?
Evz, KreativeKrisis et moi are totez hostin' a bbq.
LAST WEEKEND.
Sadly, our bbq'z got canceled because er'body was too into bbqin' and are not lazy lazy people like us and probably got up early, like 9,(how is 9 considered early? when you don't have to sleep off a hangover/are just to sleepy! it is, what a sad sad state we live in as young people). So we improved which is also what young people do! so we had a lil cookin' at our place but we hung out on our roof. so while we didn't technically BBQ we did have fun cooking, hosting, and more importantly drinking in the middle of the day in a socially acceptable environment.
After we had a sojourn to the waterfront and watched the Dirty Projectors. The waterfront was PACKED so we decided to be lazy (THEME), and just sit in the grass and listened to them.
They
Were
Awesome.
There's something nice about cooking out and watching a live show outside, it's tempting to wax all poetical about it. It just reminds me of my childhoods filled with park picnics and music playing loudly from the boombox. Even though that maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe happened like 6 times from the time i was born till now. And even then I'm probably just creating false memoriez from various televsion and movie picnic.
culture robot!
So that was last weekend.
THIS WEEKEND
lolc*nt, DS7 and I all hung out. We basically had dinner. They had burgerzzzz
I had a milkshake!
Needless to say it didn't bring any boiz to my yard. I don't even have a yard!
then we had some drizzies and had nice long chat at a bar. It was fun bar talk that took a turn for the sentimental, as many bar talks will turn into (I lurv u gu'zzzzzz ya the bes') but thank G, it went back to funny/snarky/snide, so it was a'ight.
The next day DS7, lolc*nt and I HAD ANOTHER BBQ
SQUEEEEEEEE
This time we used lolc*nt's momma's hizzy. we also had pie!
and on the seventh day warbles n' I went to the waterfront once again.
We say the Black Lips, but were jipped outa Trail of Dead Concert. Thanks a lot God! Right as they were done setting up there was lightening. See even God doesn't like hipsters
NO ONE DOES.
The Black Lips portion was fun. Near the end kids started to get stupid. Which is my favorite part of the show. lot's of stage diving and dancing. The lead singer did something like stage walking? He had peeps in the audy, hold his legs up and standing and playing the guitarrrrrr.
good for him.
And then the lightening came, and on the walk back to warbles apty, we got rained on. hard.
and now, now I'm filled with the crushin crushin monotony of the week.
great.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
We Don't Need No Stinkin' School
Oye chico, son 6 méses, y now Sra. Botwin es living with Esteban. Yup.
We find the newly formed Reyes-Botwin, or would it be Botwin-Reyes? couple in the huge-ass bathroom. A visibly pregnant Nancy is taking a shower, and Esteban is reading a baby naming book, "What NOT to name your baby." Almost everything, down to the literature, about this baby is negative, this child, if he makes it, is going to need some serious therapy.
There's a kind of ease and comfort to their relationship, that, I assume, one can only get from living under the same roof in relative happiness for 6 months. They even cuddle!...With Esteban naked...? Sure, whatever works.
And now Nancy is engaged! Why not! Anything that will keep her tied to Esteban, keep her tied to life, she's willing to do. Not only for her own safety but also to have something over anyone really, she needs to feel power, especially when she is in a powerless situation; all her well-being depending on Esteban. She tries to bring the news to shame, I mean Shane, (who was conceived when Ms. Botwin was hammered btw, oh the joys of motherly revelations!). Pero, sorpresa, Shane cool as a cucumber, drinkin' his cafesito, is all, "duurh mom, Esteban and I totes had that convo". Oh teens, will you ever cease to be precocious? Oh lawd even Mr. Dreamy Ignacio knew. Maybe next time Nance.
Off Shane and Ignacio go to school. Psych! Off they go to the streets to get some real education. While Nancy is left to ponder, breaking the news of the engagement to El Andy.
Feeling equally powerless is blonde beauty Silas. Having to deal with a douchebag cop that, according to a school friend, is mildly retarded, (I'm beginning to agree), that is hanging around the shop much too much. Wanting to get "faded." Ugh, the only reason he became a cop was because he was too annoying to get invited to any parties so he decided, "if I become a cop, I'll have to get friends, especially if they don't want their parties busted." Smart?
Andy, Andy with a full beard and a lil, (substantionally, he was a thin guy!), more belly then when we left him. Remember the super adorbz outfit he had like 2 episodes ago when he was tryin' to be all sporty spice? Controlling the only woman in his life right now: Ms. Pacman. Ms. Pacman won't break up with Andy in a note and runoff to her Mexican druglord/Mayor/baby-daddy; Ms. Pacman won't force Andy to fuck her while a thousand hobos watch them; Ms. Pacman just wants to eat ghosts, and right now, that's all Andy wants to do as well. So Andy wasted all his money on toys, because if he had kept it, he would have been reminded how much he failed to get Nancy.
But guess which ghost won't stay buried? That's right! Nancy.
Before we can get to that! Isabelle is stuck with the disgusting job of giving Doug the cheapest, fakest tan; worthy of New Jersey. Isabelle somehow keeps whatever she might have in her stomach down, I think it was mostly through the power of snark. There are moments when you see flashes of both Celia and Nancy in Isabelle, understandably since they are, God help her, the biggest role models she has. Are you there God it's me Isabelle. After sassin' her momma's lazy ass to walk to the bus stop to get to work in the mall, Hodes goes back a'sprayin'.
Now for your main event. Andy, lost in his the arms of Ms. Pacman get's a phone call from she-who-must-not-be-named. Ignoring her like he has been for the past 6 months he let's it ring. But of course with news like this Hurricane Nancy will not be stopped. Like gale force winds in swoops Nancy into her old haunt. Andy ignores her. Nancy monologues about how he hasn't been there for her, srsly? Nance, you left him, dumping him with the dumping plan he came up with. So I'm glad he ignored for as long as a did. This once again felt Nancy probably feeling a lil powerless. Didn't even need to tell Shane, Ignacio, fuck even Silas and now, well her lil puppy El Andy has grown a beard and didn't give you the reaction you expected. So off she goes.
What saw you El Andy?
Fuck.
Doug is talking about how George Hamilton screwed his step-mom, lives off his rich friends and is basically boss in every way and that gave him the idea to stand up to the idiot cop and kick him outa the store. But Idi-cop tried to hit him, swing an' a miss! and down goes tubby and boom! knocked out thanks to the counter. Well, fuck. Silas, your local clown just screwed you like G-Ham screwed his step-mom.
In prison, Nancy finally gets what she wants. She tells, Guillermo that not only is she still alive and pregnant but she's gonna stay alive and pregnant now that's she's going to become Mrs. Reyes or Botwin-Reyes or whatever. The thing about Guillermo and Nancy is that they can push each others buttons so well and they lurv seein' each other squirm. Guillermo with the knowledge that Nancy's boi'frien killed a DEA and he might be getting out soon; Nancy with the certainty that if she asked she could probz get Guillermo capped. Soooooooo finally a round goes to Nancy and her kickin' baybay.
A quick pit-stop at the links, where we see Shane enjoyin' thug life con Ignacio. Taunting white people is fun. It's a well kept secret in the P.O.C. community and I really shouldn't be saying it but it is. So Shane got to pretend to be all under-privileged, ummmm you live in a manse with the Mayor of Mexico, and heckle whitey playin golf, possibly one of the whitest sports evah, I don't care what you say Bagger Vance. Then Shane saw Ignacio go APE-SHIT. See that's anger that's crazay. Shane has a while to go before he get's there.
Back at the house Nancy complains that she's fat, ermmm no. Even for a preggo, still pretty thin. Shane never wants to go to a sporting event with Ignacio. Ever. And Ignacio is fine and just bounces somewhere, maybe to go see milo and otis. Esteban goes to fence. Enter El Andy, after some light saber moves that would put George Michael Bluth to shame, El Andy and Esteban start to duel. It's kinda hot in that misogynistic way that they are basically fighting over Nancy. Of course Esteban wins. He's a winner/tool. And besides El Andy had lightsaber moves against a guy that has a personal fencing trainer.
At least El Andy get's a some good words in with Nancy. 1(Judah), 2(Peter), 3(maybe Esteban, since all her husbands seem to die....pretty quickly) times a widower. Have you guy's forgotten about Peter Scottson DEA? Andy hasn't. With that El Andy breaks free from Hurricane Nancy (for now).
Celia, while waiting for the busy, meets the woman she will now cling to as hope to build herself up. An Avon-Lady type woman. Yeah poor Celia, life hasn't turned out great for you has it? Now you'll aspire to be an Avon-Lady. Sigh, everyone should have a dream.
In true Weeds fashion, an ending isn't an ending without a cliffhanger. Enter Mysterious Woman. MW, not only shoots amazing eye dangers at Nancy, but basically tells Esteban, white lady got to go. Then leaves. That's power Nancy, you should take lessons. With that the weddings off.
Isn't life fun?
We find the newly formed Reyes-Botwin, or would it be Botwin-Reyes? couple in the huge-ass bathroom. A visibly pregnant Nancy is taking a shower, and Esteban is reading a baby naming book, "What NOT to name your baby." Almost everything, down to the literature, about this baby is negative, this child, if he makes it, is going to need some serious therapy.
There's a kind of ease and comfort to their relationship, that, I assume, one can only get from living under the same roof in relative happiness for 6 months. They even cuddle!...With Esteban naked...? Sure, whatever works.
And now Nancy is engaged! Why not! Anything that will keep her tied to Esteban, keep her tied to life, she's willing to do. Not only for her own safety but also to have something over anyone really, she needs to feel power, especially when she is in a powerless situation; all her well-being depending on Esteban. She tries to bring the news to shame, I mean Shane, (who was conceived when Ms. Botwin was hammered btw, oh the joys of motherly revelations!). Pero, sorpresa, Shane cool as a cucumber, drinkin' his cafesito, is all, "duurh mom, Esteban and I totes had that convo". Oh teens, will you ever cease to be precocious? Oh lawd even Mr. Dreamy Ignacio knew. Maybe next time Nance.
Off Shane and Ignacio go to school. Psych! Off they go to the streets to get some real education. While Nancy is left to ponder, breaking the news of the engagement to El Andy.
Feeling equally powerless is blonde beauty Silas. Having to deal with a douchebag cop that, according to a school friend, is mildly retarded, (I'm beginning to agree), that is hanging around the shop much too much. Wanting to get "faded." Ugh, the only reason he became a cop was because he was too annoying to get invited to any parties so he decided, "if I become a cop, I'll have to get friends, especially if they don't want their parties busted." Smart?
Andy, Andy with a full beard and a lil, (substantionally, he was a thin guy!), more belly then when we left him. Remember the super adorbz outfit he had like 2 episodes ago when he was tryin' to be all sporty spice? Controlling the only woman in his life right now: Ms. Pacman. Ms. Pacman won't break up with Andy in a note and runoff to her Mexican druglord/Mayor/baby-daddy; Ms. Pacman won't force Andy to fuck her while a thousand hobos watch them; Ms. Pacman just wants to eat ghosts, and right now, that's all Andy wants to do as well. So Andy wasted all his money on toys, because if he had kept it, he would have been reminded how much he failed to get Nancy.
But guess which ghost won't stay buried? That's right! Nancy.
Before we can get to that! Isabelle is stuck with the disgusting job of giving Doug the cheapest, fakest tan; worthy of New Jersey. Isabelle somehow keeps whatever she might have in her stomach down, I think it was mostly through the power of snark. There are moments when you see flashes of both Celia and Nancy in Isabelle, understandably since they are, God help her, the biggest role models she has. Are you there God it's me Isabelle. After sassin' her momma's lazy ass to walk to the bus stop to get to work in the mall, Hodes goes back a'sprayin'.
Now for your main event. Andy, lost in his the arms of Ms. Pacman get's a phone call from she-who-must-not-be-named. Ignoring her like he has been for the past 6 months he let's it ring. But of course with news like this Hurricane Nancy will not be stopped. Like gale force winds in swoops Nancy into her old haunt. Andy ignores her. Nancy monologues about how he hasn't been there for her, srsly? Nance, you left him, dumping him with the dumping plan he came up with. So I'm glad he ignored for as long as a did. This once again felt Nancy probably feeling a lil powerless. Didn't even need to tell Shane, Ignacio, fuck even Silas and now, well her lil puppy El Andy has grown a beard and didn't give you the reaction you expected. So off she goes.
What saw you El Andy?
Fuck.
Doug is talking about how George Hamilton screwed his step-mom, lives off his rich friends and is basically boss in every way and that gave him the idea to stand up to the idiot cop and kick him outa the store. But Idi-cop tried to hit him, swing an' a miss! and down goes tubby and boom! knocked out thanks to the counter. Well, fuck. Silas, your local clown just screwed you like G-Ham screwed his step-mom.
In prison, Nancy finally gets what she wants. She tells, Guillermo that not only is she still alive and pregnant but she's gonna stay alive and pregnant now that's she's going to become Mrs. Reyes or Botwin-Reyes or whatever. The thing about Guillermo and Nancy is that they can push each others buttons so well and they lurv seein' each other squirm. Guillermo with the knowledge that Nancy's boi'frien killed a DEA and he might be getting out soon; Nancy with the certainty that if she asked she could probz get Guillermo capped. Soooooooo finally a round goes to Nancy and her kickin' baybay.
A quick pit-stop at the links, where we see Shane enjoyin' thug life con Ignacio. Taunting white people is fun. It's a well kept secret in the P.O.C. community and I really shouldn't be saying it but it is. So Shane got to pretend to be all under-privileged, ummmm you live in a manse with the Mayor of Mexico, and heckle whitey playin golf, possibly one of the whitest sports evah, I don't care what you say Bagger Vance. Then Shane saw Ignacio go APE-SHIT. See that's anger that's crazay. Shane has a while to go before he get's there.
Back at the house Nancy complains that she's fat, ermmm no. Even for a preggo, still pretty thin. Shane never wants to go to a sporting event with Ignacio. Ever. And Ignacio is fine and just bounces somewhere, maybe to go see milo and otis. Esteban goes to fence. Enter El Andy, after some light saber moves that would put George Michael Bluth to shame, El Andy and Esteban start to duel. It's kinda hot in that misogynistic way that they are basically fighting over Nancy. Of course Esteban wins. He's a winner/tool. And besides El Andy had lightsaber moves against a guy that has a personal fencing trainer.
At least El Andy get's a some good words in with Nancy. 1(Judah), 2(Peter), 3(maybe Esteban, since all her husbands seem to die....pretty quickly) times a widower. Have you guy's forgotten about Peter Scottson DEA? Andy hasn't. With that El Andy breaks free from Hurricane Nancy (for now).
Celia, while waiting for the busy, meets the woman she will now cling to as hope to build herself up. An Avon-Lady type woman. Yeah poor Celia, life hasn't turned out great for you has it? Now you'll aspire to be an Avon-Lady. Sigh, everyone should have a dream.
In true Weeds fashion, an ending isn't an ending without a cliffhanger. Enter Mysterious Woman. MW, not only shoots amazing eye dangers at Nancy, but basically tells Esteban, white lady got to go. Then leaves. That's power Nancy, you should take lessons. With that the weddings off.
Isn't life fun?
Monday, July 13, 2009
Mickey is a stuck up whore that let Chase finger her in the church
Oh, welcome back True Blood, 4th of July weekend was not the same with out you.
Jason just how I like him, confused/scared/angry, all due to the prank is church bros played. Not funny dudes. Then he get's all Jesus-y. This is really only because that was the last thing he heard. He's kinda like a parrot or a puppy.
So parruppy got all war n' light n' vamps aren't funny guys seriously, and it made everybody uncomfortable, including him really, he's just too dumb (by choice? I dunno) to figure it out.
Back to Bill, being Mr. Mom and tryin' to stop Jessica from gettin' her swerve on with Hoyt. I thought Hoyty-toyty and J where super cute together and then realized she is like 17 and he's, what? 22-24? then I was a lil skeeved, then I thought, it's The South, so I'm back to it being cute. Plus she's dead, so evz. After Hoyt is adorable and leaves being a gentleman, because that's how he rolls, Bill once again get's all stern fathery to Jess, but she ain't buyin' it. Good for her. She can kiss all the boyz she wants, she's dead n' lovin it. Oh and I'm so happy that she still had her vampboner, and was a like giggle giggle giggle, this is probz how boys/Hoyt feels.
Sookie, shut up Sookie. you are likes those girls that nobody really likes but only hang out with b/c they have a hot sibling/boyfriend (or in Tara's case b/c they are less annoying than their alcoholic mother and hey you have a house! and a supah hot supah dumb bro!) and they eventually just become your friends. Initially they think your sad but pretty and are trying too hard. but that's just who you are. You try to be smart and cute and mature, when in reality you still have no idea how the real world works. I hate you.
Anyway they are planning a lovers getaway/mission to dallas. At least we know now how vamps travel. Night Coffins! So long to Dallas!
Hello naked Sam n' Daphne, the great thing about Bon Temps is that everyone can be naked all time. Just some quick exposition, exposing the audience to the fact that we know nothing of Sam's past other than he fucked some witch/mythical Greek thing when he was a puppy. Oh and he hates the citay. Oh and that Daphne wants his dong, and she is also probably a monster. I'm not sayin'...i'mjustsayin.
Speaking of monsters! Tara, the face contorting camera monster told Maryann the awesome sex drugs and dancing monster that she is leaving to live with Sookie the self-righteous monster. I guess if I was a more moral person I'd be happy, but I'm just kinda sad for Tara because she's giving up free rent, food etc etc to live with Sookie, ugh.
Back at the Light of Jesus will Kill all Vampires Super Happy Funtime Summer Camp, or whatever, Jason and the boys are talkin' bout vampires. Lazarus, Jesus (drink my blood it'll give you super powers!) and Cain, all possible/plausible(?) vampires. And Lukez becuase he is scared of women, after the one time a girl was a lil disappointed over his size, and that other time he just couldn't because he was "too drunk," blames all evil on Eve. Jason, in a brief moment of intelligence calls him a dick. And he is; Luke. Is. A. Dick.
And then Pastor Newlin called Jason outside so he could show Jason his cock, I mean gun. His gun. Then they go around being manly and not all homoerotic, shootin' lil cut-out vamps. Ah, there is the rub; killin vamps, talkin bout bullets of silver and wood. Pastor Newlin totally got a bonerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr when Jason talked about Eddy dying. When Jason, Pastor and Mrs. Pastor/Sara, all have a lil BBQ, Jason has a beautiful /gratuitous montage about Sara bein' all sexy n slutty, it put Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher" to shame. And then they gorge on meat. SRSLY JUST HAVE A THREESOME.
After some bating by Luke, sayin' that Jason is just a sex toy for them, after they invited Jason to live in the Newlin Residence, Jason was all like psssh naw, but secretly thinking "I'm gonna bang a preacher wife" but then he get's all confused because he likes Sara as "pure"
Speaking of threesomes! Actually nothing, transitions are hard! It's Tara's birthday and guess who isn't there, Sookie, Tara's bes'frien' in the whole wide world. So Tara is crying on her birthday, like we all do, right? right??...? I mean no not me ever...what? And right on que enter the super fun orgy gang! complete with cake! Tara says fuckit, let's party. As anyone that's always had a miserable b-day and is all alone would say. Let's get drunk and dance.
Oh and in case you forgot Miss. fakewitch got her heart ripped out. juuuust in case you forgot, it was also probz maryann, nice scene placement. Andy is drunk n' talkin bout pigs. What a crazy!
At Merlottes, er'body bored. And again like most people get when they're bored, let's get drunk n dance (right? only me? ok!)! Daphne is givin' ole Sammy-pup the google-sex eye. To which I and, Thank G, Arlene both go "psssssh pur-lease." I fell in love with the red-headed murder marryin'(almost!) vixen. Tara's sad mom gives a a gifty to Sam to give to Tara. What a great excuse for a prude to go to a orgy, I mean party party.
Then it's the partay! Or how Tara got her groove back. Get her groove back indeed. So, did everyone, even Sam! annnnd oh snap! Daphne know's he has an all too spesh connection with dogs. Then they all start fucking basically. With bodies, with cake, with booze, with dirt, with fists, what a great eyes turning black party!
In Dallas, Sookie is annoying drunk as she is sober, you ain't an adorable drunk sooks you are inane. Then they capture a would be kidnapper. And Bill takes of the training wheels and let's Jessica glamour him. That's what's great about having like a character like Jessica, you get to see the mechanics about the mythology of vampires in this reality. As she learns; we learn. Plus Jessica is awesome. While Bill and Sookie are at the Hotel, being all couply and dumb, Jessica is just playin with her human/doll, like any slightly emotionally stinted anybody would do. Plus Mickey was probz a totez whore. And Bill n Sookie go to there room but at least Eric interrupted them before we had to deal with another gross sex scene.
Eric and Bill talk about v-politics and wtf are they gonna do if hu-mans can take such an old badass vampyre like Godriv? They dunno!
Jessica then orders some man-meat. Sookie is part scandalized, part wishing she could be that ballzy and awesome. Now the writers think that Sookie needs more plotine! The waitstaff(is bellboy offensive? bellhop?) that delivered said man meat, is also telepathic! Sookie runs after him like a lil girl that just found a brand new toy.
I haven't written about Lafayette. Blerg, Lafayette has to deal with some serious psychological shit. But Eric came with some vampire blood and everything is a'o-kay!(??) We went from post dramatic stress to hump dancing a couch!
Oh and Maryann is some kinda minotaur thing?
Jason just how I like him, confused/scared/angry, all due to the prank is church bros played. Not funny dudes. Then he get's all Jesus-y. This is really only because that was the last thing he heard. He's kinda like a parrot or a puppy.
So parruppy got all war n' light n' vamps aren't funny guys seriously, and it made everybody uncomfortable, including him really, he's just too dumb (by choice? I dunno) to figure it out.
Back to Bill, being Mr. Mom and tryin' to stop Jessica from gettin' her swerve on with Hoyt. I thought Hoyty-toyty and J where super cute together and then realized she is like 17 and he's, what? 22-24? then I was a lil skeeved, then I thought, it's The South, so I'm back to it being cute. Plus she's dead, so evz. After Hoyt is adorable and leaves being a gentleman, because that's how he rolls, Bill once again get's all stern fathery to Jess, but she ain't buyin' it. Good for her. She can kiss all the boyz she wants, she's dead n' lovin it. Oh and I'm so happy that she still had her vampboner, and was a like giggle giggle giggle, this is probz how boys/Hoyt feels.
Sookie, shut up Sookie. you are likes those girls that nobody really likes but only hang out with b/c they have a hot sibling/boyfriend (or in Tara's case b/c they are less annoying than their alcoholic mother and hey you have a house! and a supah hot supah dumb bro!) and they eventually just become your friends. Initially they think your sad but pretty and are trying too hard. but that's just who you are. You try to be smart and cute and mature, when in reality you still have no idea how the real world works. I hate you.
Anyway they are planning a lovers getaway/mission to dallas. At least we know now how vamps travel. Night Coffins! So long to Dallas!
Hello naked Sam n' Daphne, the great thing about Bon Temps is that everyone can be naked all time. Just some quick exposition, exposing the audience to the fact that we know nothing of Sam's past other than he fucked some witch/mythical Greek thing when he was a puppy. Oh and he hates the citay. Oh and that Daphne wants his dong, and she is also probably a monster. I'm not sayin'...i'mjustsayin.
Speaking of monsters! Tara, the face contorting camera monster told Maryann the awesome sex drugs and dancing monster that she is leaving to live with Sookie the self-righteous monster. I guess if I was a more moral person I'd be happy, but I'm just kinda sad for Tara because she's giving up free rent, food etc etc to live with Sookie, ugh.
Back at the Light of Jesus will Kill all Vampires Super Happy Funtime Summer Camp, or whatever, Jason and the boys are talkin' bout vampires. Lazarus, Jesus (drink my blood it'll give you super powers!) and Cain, all possible/plausible(?) vampires. And Lukez becuase he is scared of women, after the one time a girl was a lil disappointed over his size, and that other time he just couldn't because he was "too drunk," blames all evil on Eve. Jason, in a brief moment of intelligence calls him a dick. And he is; Luke. Is. A. Dick.
And then Pastor Newlin called Jason outside so he could show Jason his cock, I mean gun. His gun. Then they go around being manly and not all homoerotic, shootin' lil cut-out vamps. Ah, there is the rub; killin vamps, talkin bout bullets of silver and wood. Pastor Newlin totally got a bonerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr when Jason talked about Eddy dying. When Jason, Pastor and Mrs. Pastor/Sara, all have a lil BBQ, Jason has a beautiful /gratuitous montage about Sara bein' all sexy n slutty, it put Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher" to shame. And then they gorge on meat. SRSLY JUST HAVE A THREESOME.
After some bating by Luke, sayin' that Jason is just a sex toy for them, after they invited Jason to live in the Newlin Residence, Jason was all like psssh naw, but secretly thinking "I'm gonna bang a preacher wife" but then he get's all confused because he likes Sara as "pure"
Speaking of threesomes! Actually nothing, transitions are hard! It's Tara's birthday and guess who isn't there, Sookie, Tara's bes'frien' in the whole wide world. So Tara is crying on her birthday, like we all do, right? right??...? I mean no not me ever...what? And right on que enter the super fun orgy gang! complete with cake! Tara says fuckit, let's party. As anyone that's always had a miserable b-day and is all alone would say. Let's get drunk and dance.
Oh and in case you forgot Miss. fakewitch got her heart ripped out. juuuust in case you forgot, it was also probz maryann, nice scene placement. Andy is drunk n' talkin bout pigs. What a crazy!
At Merlottes, er'body bored. And again like most people get when they're bored, let's get drunk n dance (right? only me? ok!)! Daphne is givin' ole Sammy-pup the google-sex eye. To which I and, Thank G, Arlene both go "psssssh pur-lease." I fell in love with the red-headed murder marryin'(almost!) vixen. Tara's sad mom gives a a gifty to Sam to give to Tara. What a great excuse for a prude to go to a orgy, I mean party party.
Then it's the partay! Or how Tara got her groove back. Get her groove back indeed. So, did everyone, even Sam! annnnd oh snap! Daphne know's he has an all too spesh connection with dogs. Then they all start fucking basically. With bodies, with cake, with booze, with dirt, with fists, what a great eyes turning black party!
In Dallas, Sookie is annoying drunk as she is sober, you ain't an adorable drunk sooks you are inane. Then they capture a would be kidnapper. And Bill takes of the training wheels and let's Jessica glamour him. That's what's great about having like a character like Jessica, you get to see the mechanics about the mythology of vampires in this reality. As she learns; we learn. Plus Jessica is awesome. While Bill and Sookie are at the Hotel, being all couply and dumb, Jessica is just playin with her human/doll, like any slightly emotionally stinted anybody would do. Plus Mickey was probz a totez whore. And Bill n Sookie go to there room but at least Eric interrupted them before we had to deal with another gross sex scene.
Eric and Bill talk about v-politics and wtf are they gonna do if hu-mans can take such an old badass vampyre like Godriv? They dunno!
Jessica then orders some man-meat. Sookie is part scandalized, part wishing she could be that ballzy and awesome. Now the writers think that Sookie needs more plotine! The waitstaff(is bellboy offensive? bellhop?) that delivered said man meat, is also telepathic! Sookie runs after him like a lil girl that just found a brand new toy.
I haven't written about Lafayette. Blerg, Lafayette has to deal with some serious psychological shit. But Eric came with some vampire blood and everything is a'o-kay!(??) We went from post dramatic stress to hump dancing a couch!
Oh and Maryann is some kinda minotaur thing?
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