California here we come!

What a day and stupid motherfucking day to be my last day of work before my gaycavtion! That’s a vacation for gay people! See! I can be just as dumb as The Wall Street Journal !

It’s dreary, rainy, doubleshift kinda stupid day. SUCK IT

But for real ya’lls I’m going to California tomorrow. There are several things I’ve been doing to prepare. Several!

There are 4 songs that I’ve been listening to in order to get totally ready bro! They all have either California or L.A in them. Shut up; I’m lazy. PLUS dumb. I’m lazy and dumb.

Lets cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeck them out?

California Girls by the Magnetic Fields, because…duh. Who doesn’t hate California laydays! They are shallow, materialistic…basically everything I am because I’m a ‘Merica BUT they have the added bonus of being in a sunny climate. This is why I hate California Girls!


California Girls by the Beach Boys, curz at the same time Cali girls are big ole slut bags so what’s NOT to love?.......! These boys just love going to the beach and makin’ music. The one offensive is the line about Midwest Girls. They don’t know how to make you feel good. That’s why I’m gay. CLASSIC


Ode to L.A. by The Ravenoettes. Who doesn’t want to just get the eff out of wherever they are and go to a place in which the American Mythos has created to be full of sun, beautiful people, glamour and something else…botox, I think. To see how the other coast lives. To possibly (most likely) get annoyed by those sun-dappled assholes. Get a salad or something, I don’t know what they eat over there.


In California by Joanna Newsom because I’m kind of a sentimental hippie at heart. Seriously! If you chip away at the pretension and idiocy, I’ma flower child wishing only peace and love and the crossing of borders (unless you’re an illegal DUH ;( ) and the reconnecting of people and exploration of things that you don’t know and have never seen.


I’ve also been watching non stop Buffy the Vampire Slayer! Squeeeeeeeeee! To get ready to get my self thrown into the hellmouth.

WOOOLF HOOOOOWL Dananana-dananana (guitar riff) buffy song.


I'm out!