That's one of the never want to hear phrases that you would...well, never want to hear from any kind of medical provider.
I went on a doctorpalooza/doctoroff/doctorthon, I think I'll go with doctoroff because it sounds kinda russian(?), recently curz I got health insurance bee-atchez.
oh-bah-ma oh-bah-ma.
J/K barry bamz didn't give me no health insurance, not yet anywayz.
I got myself a physical and I'm SURPRISINGLY healthy. Like, I blame my age. I eat super unhealthily, I get my drank on, I don't excersise (<-----don't even know how to spell it)!
That's one of those things; unremarkable, normal, average, unextraordinary are really super awesome.
No medical provider is going to say this is very remarkable it looks like you'll never get sick ever or hmmm it looks like you can fly and also have heat vision and super speed and are totally awesome!
No.
Ooooh, this is interesting you have cancer or something...
So well I went to get my eyes check oot. And FULL DISCLOSURE, that's a thing right? I have this thing where my eye get's all googly. When I look to the LEFT my RIGHT eye get's all..."oh you're going to the left? I think I'll go to the UPPER left suck on that LEFT eye" For a long time I was all self conscious about it. Well, I still am, because COME ON it's my fuckin' eyes, you know? It's not like I can hide my yeux (<-----FRANCH), because I'm not a douche bag that can wear sunglasses indoors. Sooooooooo there's that. Apparently my eyes are a lil more google then I thought! GREAT.
Interesting, the eye dorktor said to me as he finished inspecting my jelly-filled eyeholes, while he was uncomfortably close pulling at my lower eyelid. "You're eyes don't regulate themselves" or something...I zoned out and his voice took the consistency and timbre of a pudding filled trombone playing with a mute over the horn, when he did some hand motion that was....disturbing. So I have interesting googly eyes.
At least I have good cholesterol
My arteries aren't the window to the soul
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